I am at a club and I'm blogging seriously I don't kno how many people can say that! Iso. Kno how many times I will do things I don't want yo do bc I gave my word and don't want to let others down though constantly let down maybe I'm just afraid of becomeing someone thAt makes people feel the way people make me feel! I don't kno why I always struggle with my relationships with people maybe I just expect too mucH from people but maybe not! I think that I just turely n genuinely care about the people I allow to come into my life and I put them constantly above everything in my life even myslef! I keep saying it's goin to stop if I keep putting people before me I will only an always end up behind!!! Our society is ducked up we have no morals we have no values! No one knows what beauty is... I o. E though I k ew but now I wonder and question my own thoughts as I sit her knowing the person tht I am yet I sit her n think I need to diet or get lipo stat! I will never understand girls tht put men over their friends! Yes everyone wants to be loved and have that special person but u need ur friends in your life it's the key to all happiness in your life! Your firiends should be your everything not your man! In a sense I feel betrayed! At times like this I want to call Phil bc I wnat someone to listen someone who understands but then
y mind is invaded by another sense of false reliabikty and security! Then i ponder if he was even ever real I think I made him up in my head!! I'm constantly struggeli g with the same issues it seems like it's a cycle so I
taking responsibilty and am going to say that it's me! Some how I have to change I am goig to give into the materialistic socity which everyone else has sucone to forget who I am and just blend theed no use of fighting any more, I have co e to believe I am the soul survivor! Good nite world fromthe middle of the dance floor at some shifty club with way bad mixes!! Thanx for listening! Tomorrow is a new day Monday will invoke a wave of chnage, time tobstop swimming i. Puddles n start building pools! Idk wat that means but I'm gonna figure it out! Until next time good nite!