You know what I was told the other day. By someone, they said to me “we were not in a relationship” referring to a statement that I made about how I felt as though I had wasted the last 3 years of my life. Well I do feel like I did. I feel like I really opened up to someone, I really trusted someone against my own gut instincts and the recommendations of many others, and look at where I am. Wishing I never told him ½ of what I did and glad I didn’t tell him ½ of whom or what I am, the real shame is he obviously didn’t see it himself. He also said “I don’t have to prove myself”, ummm well actually yes you do.
1st of all friendships are relationships, at least to me, and should be to anyone who considers their self a good friend to anyone. If you don’t believe me let me share with you the opinion and highly referenced of Webster (aka the dictionary);
Relationship: a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection); a way in which people and things are connected to each other
Friendship: is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more humans; is a strong bond existing between people who share a common interest or activity; A friendly relationship; good will
Thank you Webster. Thus, they take time and effort. Yes, they can just “flow” however, a river also flows, if people allow dams to build up a river becomes a lake which is stagnant water. Damns can also sink ships… haha get it relationships (man I love my analogies, that I just make up all the time). Both parties in this situation can plead guilty to this. I have said it a gazillion times, my friends are considered my family and they are #1 in my life. My word is my bond, I am very loyal and I respect most people. So I struggle with the idea that people don’t understand that or cannot at least respect me in return!
2ndly I think that you do have to prove yourself. I am not BJ’s or Sams club, where anyone can just walk in buy a membership and use it when you feel like it. I am like the Ritz Carlton Elite Club or an Amex Black card. You must be invited to this club, thus you must earn your invitation. It is a prestigious club and worth wild to be a member. To earn your invitation it is just asked that you be respectful, loyal, and understanding.
3rd Do not try and talk to me when it is convenient for you or when you feel like it and expect me not to be standoffish or as it said “a bitch”. If someone was concerned with the state of our RELATIONSHIP then I think they would pick up the phone and call. Do not try to approach me in front of others. You are viewed merely as a “show off”, your actions are viewed as “an act” and you are not taken seriously, by anyone who was present. The people you try to impress with your “good guy” bullshit, don’t buy it, neither do I. I am neither your muse nor your tool, you are not fooling anyone. If it was sincere it would not be handled the way it is and then you would not get an attitude!
I have come to believe that I have my best friends and I have had them for a while. Yes we may hit some bumps in the road now and then but I guess it’s how we learn to grow as people and become closer, better friends. A lot of people will probably not understand any of what I am saying and those of you who get it can most likely understand where I am coming from.
I am not upset or even bothered by this, I am just thinking, therefore I am blogging. I am so happy with my life right now, in fact I happen to be on cloud 9. Waaaaaaahahahaha I trrrrruely crack myself up!
